OK, right, here we go. This is fast because there’s a border collie puppy in my kitchen who thinks all water bowls are waterpalooza and she can jump very, very high.

Bullet point list:

Bullet one: Indianapolis. My friend Debbie from LA just moved there to live with some other old friends.

Bullet two: Puppy.

Bullet three: NRA convention! My Indianapolis contingent! Puppy helpers galore!

Bullet four: Airplane. Puppy. NRA convention attendees! Who love puppies. Airport. Puppy. Airport. Puppy. Airport. Puppy. Airplane! Shuttle Bus! Car! Puppy.

Bullet five: Puppy puppy puppy! I may have mentioned once or twice to, like everybody I know, my puppy is the smartest, fastest, coolest, wildest, sweetest puppy out there. They all yawn and are like, “Duh, Laura, she’s a border collie.”

Not a bullet, public service announcement time out break: Oh shit. She is also super creative! The kitchen is now puppy land of flying toys bouncing balls water park stuff careening every which way. Enter at your own risk. Puppy!

Bullet six: Tricks. Toys. Running. Tricks. Toys. Running. Balls! Tuggies! Running! Sleep. Tricks. Toys. Running. Tricks. Toys. Running. Balls! Tuggies! Running!

What does everybody think?

Gary thinks she is awesome and can’t wait til she can play ball with him without drawing blood and eating his pants legs.

Otterpop is weirdly blase. I think she believes that she’s some borrowed agility dog and will probably go away soon. Although, she tends to get along with border collies because they look at the toy and not her. Otterpop has been coming with us on all our play sessions at work (work? who is getting any work done when you need to run around with your puppy!) and is kind of cool with the whole thing. I caught her laying outside puppy’s crate at the ranch yesterday. I think she may secretly like the puppy.

Ruby likes puppies. She’s cool. Also the puppy means many chewies! Big chewies, chewies as far as the eyes can smell! A whole new world of chewies.

Gustavo thinks the puppy should go home now. We are taking walks together, me him and puppy. We all go outside, me him and puppy. We are taking it slow. He would like to sit on my lap and have me pet him while he uses psychic waves to make the puppy fly away on an airplane back to Indiana. Maybe it will take a long time. I’m not worried. Gustavo does things at his own rate of speed. He just thought that he was the puppy. And now his puppy throne is overthrown. With a puppy.

What does the puppy think? I think she is very, very happy. I can’t think of anything right now that would make this puppy unhappy. She lives in happy, happy puppy joy joy land. I don’t think she’s actually a member of team small dog, but maybe she can grow up to be their somewhat larger than small mascot.

Everybody raise your glass. Or your arm. Or your hand if you have any questions. Or whatever. Welcome Banksy!