Banksy is 4 months old and then some. We count her in months, not weeks now. I know she weighs 16lbs and I know she is taller than Ruby now. But she still can’t jump by herself into the car. But she can easily jump onto the couch. Gustavo taught her that.

The best part about having a puppy is everything. The worst part is that there is so much work and life and you want to do so good by your puppy and spend so much time with her and teach her everything she’ll need to know to be a good dog forever. Time flies and the puppy is growing up and the list gets longer and longer and the time, it’s flying by and it isn’t enough.

The days are split into hours and I look at the clock and it’s already too late for bed. Where did the day go and did my puppy learn enough and have enough fun? What if she didn’t, will she still love me tomorrow? There are four dogs to split the time up with and if the puppy didn’t get enough time, forget about the poor other dogs. We try to do a lot and I know we can’t do everything but I always want to do more. I make sure there are parts of the day that are just for me and Banksy. The other dogs have to do something else. This sucks for them, I hope they’ll be happy when she grows up and is a good girl because we spent the time when she was young.

But, right? It isn’t enough time. I’m sad when she has to sit in the dog pen and wait and wait and wait. I think she should be backing up better, and if her directionals should be happening and if she couldn’t drive harder into the crate for crate games. I haven’t had her back down to the swimming hole. Her nose touch is just average. She wants to chase birds at the beach. I should have way more clicker tricks and should let her run more? Or should she run less? Every time I have a lesson I find out so many things I should be doing different and better and work harder and don’t use the toy to lure and stand better and over here. All that’s exhausting. Every recall I do is an opportunity for brilliance and a decel or a turn and sometimes I just want to lay in the grass and throw the ball.

So far I have a dog who loves all people, big and small. Whose third best friend is a cat. Who meets every new dog politely and will play with them only if they invite her. Who lounges in my lap while I pedicure her with a power tool and who always makes an effort at whatever it is I’m trying to teach her. And who gets mad if I teach her wrong. My puppy’s always ready to play, anytime, anywhere, she is definitely a party girl. She can be very distracted by many hundreds of things, and she still loves to flood the kitchen by pouncing in the water bowl. She can be cuckoo wild and she can be super sweet and lumber around with her big floppy paws.

I want to do a better job training my puppy. I want to spend way more time just hanging out with my puppy. We have a lot of room for improvement and I wish the time wasn’t flying by so fast. But I will tell you this. I am really, really lucky to have an amazing puppy like Banksy.