Santa Cruz is best after dark when it’s closed. Pretty much the only time it’s nice here. Otterpop can show you where all the drug dealers lurk and then it’s time to go to sleep.

How could this be any nicer? Only if Steve Buscemi was here to enjoy it with Otterpop. Viva la Boardwalk Empire of Otterpop. Keep the boardwalk closed forever.

These are some of Otterpop’s friends and not friends on the log. Not friends came to visit. They are border collies and Otterpop was made to wear a leash near them because she is like the worse hostess ever. Otterpop the Hostess is like Betty Draper when they run out of cigarettes at the liquor store. Otterpop the Hostess is like Joaquin Phoenix when they run out of vegan sides at the pig roast. Otterpop the hostess is like The MuthaTrucken OIL SLICK MOVING ON SHORE RIGHT NOW ASSHAT OIL SLICKERS. The not friends got on Otterpop’s logs. Otterpop was unimpressed.

Lucky clovers! As lucky as it gets when they are all 3 leafed clover. Otterpop will not tell you where this secret clover spot is when she takes you on a tour of the town.

Banksy showed the not friends where the creek was. Banksy is all “I’m a Good Hostess! I’m a Good Hostess!” Border collies. This is supposed to be a river but because of the drought it is a little trickle of water and it’s pretty stupid so let the border collies have it. Stupid border collies. Stupid drought. Who needs it.

These are not Otterpop’s friends. They are Laura’s friends, however. Heather and Tammy came to visit all the way from Oregon in Heather’s groovy dog van. They didn’t stay long enough to see everything in town so hopefully they come again. No matter what Otterpop thinks.