This is all because I had to go to Costco. Being a card carrying Costco member makes me very sad, sometimes one trip to Costco makes me depressed for days. Today I went to Costco. Life will go on.

Here’s what $650,000 buys you in our real estate market. Not Otterpop and a stick on the sand trails, that costs priceless. How about 6 acres on Bear Creek road with a house that burned down 25 years ago. There is a neglected mobile home on the property and a derelict pool filled with vines. Do not enter the neglected mobile home, stay far, far away from the pool. Otterpop is all, whatever. Stack the branches, we’ll be fine.

Gustavo and Otterpop had a doctor’s appointment together. Gustavo loves the doctors! Best fun ever! They touch you! It’s amazing! I hang on to Otterpop and show the doctor her teeth myself. Otterpop growls at the doctor, but if I am holding her, has very reasonable manners. We just use that old saying, “Don’t touch the Otterpop.” Everyone comes out alive.

I ordered Ruby a fly mask for dogs. Her eyes hurt when they’re in the sun and I think her legs wobble more when her eyes hurt. I’ll let you know when it arrives. It’s bright orange, so she’ll look like a Lady Gaga Giants fan, is my hope. Please don’t laugh at Ruby. We want her to be able to enjoy some walks. It’s sun season around here, there’s only so much shade we can find.

Banksy is Banksy. She does like to go to parties. However, the sight of the neighbors lifting kettle balls high above their heads which are higher than our fence, and the other neighbors coming and going up their back porch steps is too much for her to bear. They move! And they’re not part of our yard. So much drama from Banksy, Banksy’s trigger is a tiny hair and she can pitch a fit with the best of ’em.

She is learning to deal with asshat dogs on the beach stairs. Why most people think it’s fine to launch a mean dog straight down a steep set of stairs exactly into a group of leashed dogs trying to make their way up is beyond me. The people are either tourists or assholes or possibly both. Frequently the dogs are definitely asshats. This is what we got now though, the foxtails are too prickly and abundant everywhere else, and it’s hot, so to the beach we go.

And we practice. And practice, and practice and practice. Would you like to see our 150 at least running dogwalk videos? Why, here’s one just from today. It really is going smashing, as long as we ONLY GO STRAIGHT. We have a lot of time to practice, I’m officially only working part time, which is a nice way of saying business really sucks. If you’re thinking of ordering a dog portrait, now is a great time. I’m all about moving back to a lifestyle of creative angst and low wages. Dog portraits are cheap! Get three!

Do you know anyone nearby looking to start agility classes? I’m starting some new ones at Heart Dog Agility, send them my way! We’ll have a grand time, let’s fill the classes! Order the portraits! Bring your kid to ride. Let’s start boosting this economy a little bit, get those dog dental appointments paid off, let me buy some new sneakers. Wouldn’t you want to read a team small dog book? Are you a publisher? Send one my way.

Over and out, see you soon. Yer pals, Laura & team small dog.