Otterpop was able to get in a quick interview with Ivanka Trump and her little yorkie, Tiger. Otterpop would like to remind you she once had her ass kicked by a yorkie named Tinkerbell at the USDAA Western Regional. Tinkerbell arrived ringside in a stroller and proceeded to SLAUGHTER the 8″ performance division. This was a low point in the agility career of Otterpop. She retired soon after. Moving forward.

Interview Transcript:

Otterpop: Oh hi, Ivanka. So happy you bought a membership to our club! Team Small Dog’s been waiting for you, and your jet. We heard the seats are made of pony fur!

Ivanka: (Silence. Editors note-We think she is pretty pissy that Melania from Slovenia bungled up last night’s Lady speech so bad. Looks like she had a long night. Does she call her stepmum, we wonder?)

Otterpop: So, hey, Ivanka. What amazing things do you think your dad is going to do to make America Great Again? Or safe again. Or hate again. Or whatever. Besides pass out ballcaps?

Ivanka: You know he’s a feminist, right?

Otterpop: Um, yeah. We heard you say that another time, too. Can you elaborate on this?

Ivanka: He hires a lot of women. For like, maids and stuff. He owns a lot of hotels.

Otterpop: What about when he calls them fat pigs and thinks they should be punished for having abortions?

Ivanka: My mom owns half of Mar A Lago.

Otterpop: Do you like that show Veep? With Elaine from Seinfeld? Those Code Pink protesters that looked like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde were rad last night, don’t you think?

Ivanka: We are looking forward. Did you see Antonio Zapato Jr over there? You’ll excuse us.