Run, Ruby, Run!

I know you all waited up to see it. Project Runyway is on again! It’s timed conveniently for me, so you walk in the door covered with DIRT, and the dogs’ feet are all covered with dirt. Only they don’t walk in the door, they RUN in the door with their dirt to get some food. And then I have to take off my pants and shoes and socks and outermost shirt layer in the dogfood/washing machine/backdoor area to feed them because of the dirt. After I scrub off my hands because I can’t touch the dogfood with all the dirt. And the dirt is getting on the floor and everywhere, no matter what I do.

We got to meet all our new friends. It was brief. We know the art puppet goddess lady who imbues her fabrics with grass stains and teas to invigorate them won’t last long. It was almost evil of them to put her on. They let her stay last night I think, just to string that plot line along. They got rid of a girl with just one bad, ugly, falling apart dress. It looked like I sewed it! Not a compliment! There was a girl Jeffrey named Kit Pistol and a weeping 42 year old named Sweet P. I am a little worried about it this time, it’s been such a perfect show for 3 times and they could blow it this year. And now I know why Tim Gunn never comments or tries to help me out. He is a Chief Creative Officier for Liz Claiborne Inc. and he didn’t used to be that. Thanks Heidi Klum. I’m sure this also means no way does he have time for dog agility.

It does take time. Thank god Project Runway is on at 10pm. But what other sane people drive to the dirt at night after work, and in some of our cases, stay there til 9:40 in the cold covered with dirt? I drive 2 mornings a week to practice with my dogs on the way to work. I am lucky to have a weird, flexible schedule. And a place to train the dogs that is right by my work. I know some people drive hours for a class or to practice. It is a sickness.

This weekend’s sickness takes me to Turlock. I can’t even explain where it is. Far, on the other side of I-5. Fog, cows, fields. We haven’t been there in a long time because there are trains there and Ruby has a train noise thing. I’m interested to see if it’s better. Or worse. I am sure we’ll find out. Certain noises don’t just scare Ruby, they start talking to her in her brain and she thinks it’s witches. Fireworks and guns just scare her and make her shake violently and climb under a low piece of furniture and just stay there shaking until the noises finish. Flies and trains and buzzing speak to her in excorcist tongue and tell her to go to the corner and spin around. Find a door outside and fling yourself onto it. Crawl under the couch and back out and back under. At agility, if Speaking with Witches starts, it could mean starting on a startline, running over the first jump and doing donuts out in the ring until I realize it’s witches and pull her. A fun weekend in store.

I realized the Witch in her Brain may be Heidi Klum. We’ll never know for sure. Boy would I like to see her covered in dirt someday, lugging an a-frame back to the equipment trailer in the dark. Take this, Heidi Klum’s fingernails. Get out of Ruby’s brain with your ice tongued, german inflected words of horror.