OK. We haven’t had a cooking show in a while. Today we’re going to slice up some raw hot dogs!

Did you know I don’t even really eat meat? Haven’t had a cow or a pig or a fowl since high school. I do like my sushi and anything I shoot myself. And I HAVE been thinking about becoming a cattle rancher in Marfa. But for dog training, I am busting out the meat. I got some hot dogs made out of joyful and grateful chickens that apparently threw themselves right into the grinder at the moment before their natural death from healthy old age on their luxury chicken farm in Petaluma.

Ya slice ’em up real small if you have real small dogs. Gustavo is today’s chicken eater, and he is my smallest dog. He will jump 12″ and he weighs in at a puny, yet still teeter tipping, 12 lbs.

I put ’em in a teensy tupperware that you can get at Ikea. A whole set of a million for like $5.

Don’t forget to put the rest away so no one gets salmonella or is tempted to attack the counter or so you can get a snack.

Allright. Here’s the thing. You know what a bad dog trainer I am. I fall asleep during the dog training DVD’s. I may not always use approved methods. My biography does not start out, “Laura Hartwick was a top notch obedience competitor for 20 years.” I think it starts out, “Laura Hartwick’s favorite shoes since kindergarten are navy blue slip-on Vans.” So I kind of screwed up on all my dogs on getting them to do everything for tugging.

They all like to play. Otterpop is primarily all about the frisbee, although she definitely enjoys her treats. Ruby will tug but what really gets her fired up is a chunk of chicken inside her little thing she tugs on. Gustavo, he will tug and go crazy before and after training, but what he really, really likes for the top dog reward are some chopped up hot dogs in a tupperware.

I know. Some day, I will be fired from dog agility. I am sorry Susan Garrett. This is why I’m not on any world teams and you are. I know you are not REALLY a witch, we just all have our things we are better at. I bet I draw horses way better than you do. And that’s ok.

But see, his weave poles have gotten super way faster and more accurate since I started using dead chicken chunks in Ikeaware as a target out at the end of the poles.

I have the wires off, and the channels open about an inch and a half or so.

I can send him to the poles and he drives all the way through on his own, or with me on either side. So I’m already letting him find his own entries and rear crossing his poles. I can also just stand there and then when he’s through, run down to meet him at the target. Let him snarf some dog chunks. Next step, doing this with poles at the practice field! If the thunderbolts of the Tugging Not Food Commandment don’t strike me down first.