Because you’ll have to turn your head sideways and be able to scroll at the same time. I went to yoga this week. I think the teacher called this pose sideways facing noose right around your neck til you choke. Usually it is a good idea to have a beer after yoga. You can do this. You’re sitting in a chair. Well, yeah have a beer or just turn your head when you scroll in a second. I know you came in for screen spitting and today I just will hurt your neck and you don’t even get to laugh. Because that’s the kind of dog agility lady I really am. Squinty eyed and mean and just wondering how do I make their necks ache today?

I know. I just go on and on about this field. One person’s field is another person’s Marfa is another person’s craw sticking potsticker. It’s just a big, flat 33 acre parcel with some willows and cypress trees perched next door to the sea, near my house. Was saved from becoming a giant hotel in the ’70’s. There are a lot of paths and all I do there is walk around every single morning. The dogs run. Sometimes I run. Sometimes I shuffle when Timmy comes and lift him up and over the big log. When Timmy was springy he rode there in a milk crate on the back of my bike and I let him out there and he would chase my bike everywhere.

Everyone shares it. Hippies. Drug dealers. Homeless people. Kids. Tourists. Surfers. Ladies. Men. Guys with parrots on their shoulders. People on stilts. Film makers. Drunk teenagers. Dog trainers. Landscape painters. UCSC students in butterfly costumes. Actual endangered butterflies. Models in bikinis in photo shoots. Brides. The crazy guy that puts raw chicken out for the animals. Bongo drummers. We all tolerate each other.

OK. Maybe I let my dogs run on top of sleeping homeless people in their wet sleeping bags and bark at them. And maybe it was me that left a note for the mom of the crazy guy that left the raw chicken offerings asking her to tie him up or something to keep him from leaving so much raw meat out there. And usually I am anti social when I walk out there and if you see me I might not even talk to you and I scowl unless I remember my New Years resolution. I get mad when you feed my dogs and teach them to run up to you and jump on you, and you don’t get it when I say stuff like, “Hey thanks for rewarding them to jump on you!” Or I might just roll my eyes when you ask me, gesturing at Timmy, “Oh, is that the mommy dog and you kept all her babies?” I think people have mean names for me behind my back. Mean Dog Lady of All the Little Black Dogs. That Bitch. But you get the picture. We’re still sharing, even if we the Way I Share is weird and not like the Way You Share.

But the Rangers with the firearms are enforcing the law that it is not to be shared with dogs anymore unless they are tied on to you.