Today we took the dogs hiking in the forest. You’re not supposed to have dogs in the forest, but you know me and my lawbreaking ways when I want to walk my dogs. It’s the forest that you get to by parking your car at the No Dogs Allowed University, then hiking through the No Dogs Allowed cattle pastures, then down a hill to the river, then up a hill to where the trails get more narrow and the terrain darker and more redwoody and far from everyone else. Where still No Dogs Allowed but no one around in there to really care.

We used to take Timmy there a lot. Gary remembers hiking in there with him in the pouring rain once, but I don’t. You cross the river over a narrow log way high up over the water, although in the summer it’s a trickle of a creek and we just hopped on rocks through it so the dogs could drink and splash around some.

So you remember I had some dog chasing deer problems up in Boonenville. Ending in Ruby getting kicked by the deer after it had enough of being ambushed by dogs the size of loaves of bread made of gentle forest gnomes. Bad dogs. Never had livestock or deer chasing dogs before. Skimboarders, yes. Deer? Sure they might go off on a short dash for a second, then good dogs always come back when they’re called. I have trained dogs. I think. Right? They know how to get up on that table and lay still for 5 seconds, that counts for something doesn’t it?

So while hiking, we saw this. Or heard it first. A scenic deer family quietly munching lichen or twigs or whatever it is deer eat in the dark forest.

And when the deer heard us, off they went. Up a vertical, steep slope that looks like it went on forever. Because we are deep in the forest here. If there were hobbits or enchanted woodcutter cottages or witches covens, this is the part of the forest they would be in.

And two bad dogs went off in pursuit. Straight up the forest cliff wall, like bolts of tiny lightning.

One dog was a good dog. Ruby seems to recall the deer kick incident as being somewhat of a negative experience and decided to not go off on the hunt.

The two bad dogs, seem to recall the last deer incident as the funnest thing in the world. More fun than joining the whole Love Boat gang on the Love Boat reunion tour with Isaac’s bar open the whole time and free tattoos by acclaimed tattooers all night. More fun than any activity planned by Cruise Director Julie, even on Dog Agility Casino Nite. And in a flash, just like that, they were gone. Tiny little dots of black running up the redwood cliff and away.

I was not happy. I sat there and waited a long time, whistling so they would find the sound and head back. And they did. Maybe not even gone that long. Come flying down this cliff through logs and trees and brush and stickers, straight down the mountainside they did run. Roped ’em up and marched ’em out of the dark forest. When got back up to the meadow, let them loose again to get some more running done. Good dogs for a while, then heard another deer. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat. Same exact scenario, two bad dogs I believe chased them all the way back down to the river before running back up to us.

So I now have 2 confirmed deer chasing dogs. I believe I read things on the internet and in dog books about how good dogs, meaning trained dogs, always come when called. Even when there are deer or skunks or lions or elephants or goblins, pick your poison. I think my dogs used to do this. And now they don’t. We don’t visit the forest too often, so it’s not like they chase goats and I have pet goats and I can implement a carefully planned, step by step training program about goat chasing. Shock collars likely take care of this but I couldn’t bear the thought. So maybe I don’t have forest hiking dogs anymore. So much for good dog training skills.