So yesterday was the date we were supposed to go to court, as randonly assigned by the Lady in the Ticket Window, starting where our story left off last time, which was sort of at the Midget Mobile. Remember? Naked Trolls. She told me come back on September 11. All freaky creepy. Maybe you forgot that was what we were supposed to do yesterday. Like had more IMPORTANT Sept. 11 things to think about.

But then, the other day, I got this letter. With my name and my violation and my total bail of $210, and the due date. And in big letters, at the bottom, it says TRIAL. And:

To contest a citation EITHER (1) appear at Traffic Division noted at the front of your citation, (2) pay the bail listed on the front of this notice, (3) sign and file a “Waiver of Arraigment and Plea of Not Guilty” form, and (4) be assigned a court date by the clerk or (1) appear in court, (2) enter a plea of “Not Guilty:, and (3) be ordered to appear for a Court Trial by the judgical officer.

You get all that? 

Naw, me either.

See, I sat around and made a non courtroom sketch instead of finishing reading it.

It sort of goes on and on and who has time to read IMPORTANT LEGAL PAPERS SENT TO YOU BY A COURT.

But the part that did catch my attention, the due date. 10/08/08. That’s like, in October! Halloween! Nearly Christmas! Like, we would be done Christmas shopping by then, right? And I have episodes of Project Runway (I KNOW I KNOW!) to watch and I’ve been really hooked on watching Carnivale (you will hear about this show SOON I promise, because it is about psychic Russian Dustbowl Carnies and the Devil in the Central Valley!) or like clean the garage or measure how tall Otterpop is compared to a loaf pan or stare at the creepy orange light that is getting dark like SO EARLY like when I’m still at work. 

So I’ll finish reading the paper then sometime before 10 oh 8 oh 8.

Whose idea was this for me to represent myself? Are all attorneys like this? Can I bill for these hours? See you in Court!