Have you ever seen a dog who is afraid of cameras? I mean, not like looks down or away or blinks but is HORRIFIED by cameras. Black Beauty apparently believes cameras rip out your heart by yanking it up through your throat by the giant scythe that pops out of the lens to eviscerate you. Camera equals See Ya I’m Outta Here for Fear of Certain Death.

As soon as I pull any camera out, she looks HORRIFIED and jumps ship. Even if she’s asleep and my camera does not make a sound. She KNOWS. Runs away. Like RUNS away. Tried at the beach. Horrified, tried to run away up a cliff. 6 wet, slobbery big dogs attacking tennis balls don’t phase her, but a tiny little snapshot camera comes out of pocket, off she goes. Hey, the dogs are all being cute, sleeping together on the couch. Get a photo? HELL No. Not of Black Beauty. Want to meet a sheep Black Beauty? Yeah but DON’T TAKE MY PICTURE.

Sorry Black Beauty. No more pictures. From now on, I will just draw you. I will try. You look like Ruby but just so tiny. And such sad little eyes.

Uh, is Black Beauty our dog? I don’t know. Gary says she isn’t. Every day, he asks if she has a home. Although he asks this while picking her up and playing with her, tosses her a little chunk of pollo. Throws out the little idea of, “Don’t you want a nice border collie JUST LIKE HOBBES? We can’t have 5 dogs. Black Beauty needs to go.” Yeah, the border collie comes when we have our ranch that the current financial crisis makes look like is never. A border collie in this house? Oh my god. Just come visit my house you guys. You would get it.

I still ask people if they want her. But it’s pretty half heartedly. I size them up carefully, judging their books by their cover. Don’t look right for Black Beauty. Chihuahua rescue had a lady willing to fly from Greece to adopt a chihuahua from the Bay Area. Duh, guys, she doesn’t speak Greece-she speaks Spanish! Nope.

She’s very, very sweet. She wags her tail faster and harder than any of the other dogs. Little wiggle worm of joy over the littlest things. She is simple and happy. A gentle little soul. She doesn’t need a frisbee or 9 million tricks to keep her busy, she has zero training. I’m teaching her sit right now and to come when you say her name. In Spanish and English. Actually compared to SOME dogs in our household, very operant learner. No naming names, if your name happens to be Gustavo. Remember how long it took AHEM No Naming Names to learn to sit?

She just wants to go with you wherever you go and be a good dog and wag her tail a lot and squiggle around in ecstasy if you pet her. And sit in your lap or snuggle up with the other dogs. You just pick her up and stick her in the car. Tub. Crate. Kiss a sheep. Whatever you want. Easy peasiest dog I’ve ever seen.

Team Small Dog, they kind of don’t know what to do with her. She doesn’t really know how to play and they just let her tag along with whatever fiasco they are currently causing. Like a completely ignored kid sister de unos pachucos de Maravilla along for grand theft auto, happy to ride in the back seat and listen to the radio. I took her over to an agility friend’s house for dinner and she hung out, so easy. Deb made tacos! Won over Black Beauty’s heart forever. No howling. No stealing other dogs’ toys. No running through the house with air strikes off tall furniture. None of the complete mayhem that would have been caused by bringing my Real Dogs over. Brought the sidekick dog and turns out she is a well behaved bring to dinner party dog.

I kind of suck at dog rescue. Ruby was Dog Rescue. Otterpop was Dog Rescue. Gustavo rescued from someone else’s Dog Rescue. You are supposed to get them a NEW home with dog rescue. The bigger dog that came with Beauty? Yep, found her a super home with a nice family from the barn. I just threw a TON of money at vet bills trying to save my old horse. Last thing I need, new set of vet bills. She’s not an agility prospect. My next dog was supposed to be a giant border collie JUST LIKE HOBBES. But. I. Don’t. Think. I. Can. Give. Away. Black. Beauty.