So I posted to one of my dog club emails the other day, looking for DAM team members for an upcoming trial. DAM team, my non agility friend, sort of like a big dog show popularity contest ending in a sack race where you all have your legs tied together and your eggs in one basket and if someone trips, you execute them. Very exciting agility event! One where I am actually taking a Saturday off in December so I can do DAM Team. I think most people get invited to be on teams months and months in advance. No wait. Years. Booked years in advance. Waiting list and a concierge tells you to take a number to book a team with them.

For Team Small Dog, we get invited occasionally. On occasion. Sometimes. Not much. Am not super popular. As agility ladies go, not exactly in the in crowd. The out crowd? Sundays Only Non Border Collie Crowd? Sucks at Gamblers Group? Makes Fun of Dog Agility on Internet and No Friends Left Anonymous?

And what do I hear of potential teams? Silence. Nada. The email is not ringing off the hook. Maybe will get one offer from someone who has never entered their dog in a trial but would be willing to do it now to make me feel better if I pay their entries. Am feeling very jr. high here, kittens, and self esteem falling by the second. This is just like in 7th grade and NO ONE asked me to dance and really, I am still reeling from the pain of it all. They played Foghat and everything. I think I had new Dittos. I just sat there, on a cafeteria bench and I dunno what. This was before texting. You could not sit and text. You just sit there and that’s it. Wait to get picked up by your mom. Farrah Fawcett wing-do just drooping in the humidity of sweaty tweens slow dancing to the Commodores. There could be suckier dogs than the dogs of Team Small Dog. Suckier handlers than I. I PRACTICE, you guys! I swear. Yes they are both ADCh-free, but almost there if they just get the gambles which we don’t even have to stress out about in team!

So, Hi! If you want to be on a DAM team with 12″ Championship Otterpop or 12″ Performance Ruby, Santa Rosa in December, please email me? Hi? We don’t do that bad. Ruby loves the indoor arena in Santa Rosa and though this year was her year of the E, she is usually super happy running indoors on dirt. And Otterpop just trucks along. Not an E machine at all. We try really hard to get our team Q at this trial because might be our only chance with my limited trial schedule.

Um, hello? This thing on?