It’s not the VonTrapp Family, either.

So did the impulse control work at Dirt Nite? Yes and no.

Yes, I did have quieter dogs, more well behaved dogs, no over the top dogs. Sort of like an Osmonds Christmas special. Otterpop quietly laying on her bed. Gustavo sitting in a foldup crate with the door open. Even when border collies running around. A thing of amazement! Had their Auntie Nancy throw treats at them when I ran Hobbes, and was just so, quiet!

A good thing, right?

Well, Otterpop, still ran around just fine. Actually ran around super great. And I was less stressed out when I ran Hobbes because wasn’t worrying about my over the top little monkey losing it, tied up to the fence. But well behaved Gustavo? His runs, sort of like an Osmonds Christmas special. Dull. Crewneck sweaters. Slacks. Barbershop quartet songs about Jesus and pampers. Kind of like dialing the whole thing in.

Yes, there were weave poles. There were contacts. There was running. But there was none of that wacky, fast craziness that makes it so fun. Almost made me want to cry.

Got home afterwards, found my little monkey dog again, playing with a toy upside down on the couch, biting my arm and driving me crazy. Didn’t want me to watch Top Chef. Didn’t want anyone to watch Top Chef. Just irritated us all until Otterpop launches on top of him and smashes him and then there are just crazy monkeyscream sounds again. Boy did I miss that. Wanted that whole thing about FUN! A little on the edge. Unpredictable. Crazy. Osbornes, not Osmonds. Black Sabbath, but in a good way. Not washed up, dialed in, woozy and shuffly. Maybe Beverly HIlls Osbornes actually not that different than Christmas special Osmonds. Neither of them how I want my speedy little dog to run.

So why? From rewarding him for so much quiet and calm? Created a monster, albeit a well behaved one? Asking too much of one little dog? Isn’t impulse control supposed to build drive, not vanish it? What’s the balance? Not Osmonds. Not Osbornes. Not Jacksons. Not Waltons. None of these, the right model for Team Small Dog.