What would Susan Garrett do?


So look. I don’t consider myself a crappy dog trainer. Like, compared with everybody in my neighborhood, I am like Queen of the Dog Trainers. But I think if you stick me out there in the population of Dog Trainers, especially people who train dogs for agility, I am on the D-List. This makes me sad. But then I look at Kathy Griffin. And her bad plastic surgery. She does ok on the D-List. Can’t I?

Then I look at Kathy Griffin again. Weep. I don’t want to be HER. Um, C-List? Courtney Love? Nope. Just lost custody of Frances Bean and she is totally the queen of insane twitter tweets and crazy facebook posts. Nooooooo! I don’t want this to happen to Team Small Dog! Poor Frances Bean!

So this means I need to aspire higher. Reach down a little deeper into my lazy little slacker, GenX heart. And put on my dog training pants. And ask the big question, What Would Susan Garrett Do?


Susan Garrett’s answer to everything is Crate Games. I am pretty sure if I went over to her house and knocked on her newly remodeled door and told her about my problems with Gustavo, she would just take a bite of her carrot, and be all, “How’s your crate games?”

And then she’d pull a copy of the DVD out from a box, try to sell it to me for $32.95 Canadian dollars, then send me on my way even though I walked all the way to Canada!


So we did some Crate Games testing yesterday, to see how is our Crate Games. I watched part of the video a long time ago but it made me want to claw out my eyeballs so I didn’t finish it. I DID go to it in real life though, in a seminar with young and super evil Otterpop and the real Susan Garrett in the flesh. Somewhere I even have notes. Somewhere. I think there are a lot of little sketches of Susan Garret’s face instead of writing notes in there though. I am not a great note taker. I would say more of a doodler. I do remember she wore a little black skort though.

Everybody’s Crate Games at our house seems to work super on the deck. With one dog at a time. But as soon as someone is in a crate, and everybody else starts racing around after a tennis ball, only Ruby and Otterpop still have Crate Games. Gustavo’s become erased. Surprise, surprise. I am going to go with the Susan Garrett theory here, and start from scratch. So, all you good dog trainers that read my blog, A-List ones preferably, if I can get him to be all relaxed and chill and impulse controlly on his own in there when everyone else is chasing tennis ball, is this going to help me?


I am serious here. I need some help! Calling in on the favor phone, A-listers!