I’m not kidding. I really want Roomba. Sassie is a genuine New York City dog trainer and she has not only has Roomba, but Robot 1, Robot 2 and some other kind of Robot. And a parrot! She made a video for me as a present so I could be jealous of her Roomba. Thanks Sassie!

So I had this idea. Maybe I could become a marketing genius and sell Roombas? Like, it is my destiny? Just this thought. Because you could vacuum and teach your dogs the Thriller dance all at the same time. Educational for dogs! And exercise! It doesn’t have to be just Michael Jackson songs. The Clash, Sublime and Dee Lite strike me as very, very good Roomba vacuum dog training exercise bands. We are talking one huge robot dance party for everybody.

So let’s say that I was going to sell top of the line, pet hair vacuuming Roombas to all of you for $369.99. This is a DEAL! And then I am going to sell you the Premier Manners Minder Robot for the low, low price of $109. American dollars. Plus tax. They are made of highest quality plastics and robotic devices. They are shiney and sparkly and roundish and best of all, they are ROBOTS. Because, you get this, right? You watched the video. Robot needs to be riding Roomba. Otterpop too. All the dogs ride Roomba. Roomba, fun for EVERYONE.

And then here is where the business plan part escapes me somewhat. I am a vacuum salesman now? One USDAA class is $13. How many Roombas do I lose money on to pay for one USDAA class? Can I still pay for Steeplechase and Grand Prix, which costs $20 to enter? Is there money left over for jeggings? I think those are $100. But the problem being, you need a lot of days of robot dance party with Roomba to wear the jeggings.

Potential business plan flaw. This happens to me sometimes. Once you lose all the money, then you just call it art and come out even. Sort of. Like even except you lost the money. But what a great robot dance party it could be!